memory

I wonder what memory is. What controls it, how events are either stored or accessed through time. Do we directly observe an instance in time when we recall a memory by accessing the past, or do we access a representation stored in our brain? There is evidence to suggest the latter is falsifiable. There is only theory supporting the former.

What is a memory? How do memories get lost? Do connections in the brain get destroyed? Is the pain from losing a loved one a result of connections in your brain breaking off? Another thing I find uncanny is how, in recalling certain memories, I am able to experience a non-consiously controlled physiological reaction. Does this give support to the former argument that memories are direct observations of the past? Or does it perhaps give support to the view that memories are merely representations in the brain and the brain is able to produce similar bodily reactions to the event, similar to those when it took place, when the memory is recalled?